As most of my friends know, I'm a rather voracious reader, and always like to find something to share with others, especially widows. Though I recently entered a new Blog, last evening I came across something I'd like to further encourage you in your journey with Grief.
I have been reading a 1988 Daily Guideposts that was my Mother's. I'd saved many copies of these inspiring books, but gave most of them to others. Two of Mother's escaped, and I have been rereading them. Last evening I came across a devotional written by Aletha Jane Lindstrom about a friend, Pat. Her father died, leaving her mother in a deep, lasting depression. Pat did all she could, but adjustment for her mother was slow and trying. I know many of you still deal with adjustments and challenges.
Pat prayed for a way to help. Finally she decided to make up a booklet titled "One Day At A Time." One of my friends in our Widow's Might gave me this as her favorite bit of advice when I asked her thoughts sometime ago. Each page of Pat's booklet contained an activity selected to help her mother overcome inertia and self-pity by renewing her awareness of God's goodness and encouraging her to reach out to others. For example:
Monday: Get up early and take a dawn walk. Watch the world wake up.
Tuesday: Take time to bake bread from scratch. Enjoy the cool feeling of dough in your hands. Notice how the more you punch it down, the more it rises. (Then share it with a friend.)
Wednesday: Go to the library and browse. Follow your inclinations. You may find yourself gravitating toward a book that can help you - or a person you can talk with - Maybe go out to lunch with her later?
Thursday: Write a thank-you letter - possibly to an old teacher, a friend, your pastor, your child? Make a list of people you feel grateful to, and why. Pray and thank God for them.
Friday: Do something today for someone else who was close to your husband. Find a picture they'd enjoy, or share something your loved one said about them they'd like to hear. They're grieving too, and would appreciate attention from you.
Saturday: Go for a drive. Pick a different direction and explore. Feel the wind on your face, the peaceful solace of movement on an open road. Thank God for your life and living things. This is a lovely season to enjoy the lovely Fall foliage. (I will never forget a precious memory of my Dad while my family lived in Texas. I missed the Fall. One day at lunchtime, Dad picked up fall leaves in many colors and sent them to me. No one will ever know how that helped my homesickness, and how much it endeared me to my Dad. This was something totally unexpected from him. I saved those leaves until they fell apart).
Sunday: Spend quiet time thinking of dreams for the future. Touch your toes ten times. Thank God for something each time. Get up and go to church, even if you don't feel like it. Above all, don't isolate yourself from people or God at this crucial time.
Here are more ideas. Look for another lonely friend. No one of us is truly alone; Pat's mother had her daughter, and there are others who may not have a daughter or son of her own who'd enjoy having us reach out to them.
Thanksgiving is coming in about another month. Can you think of someone who has no family you might invite to join you (and your family if you are blessed with other family members)? At Calvary we have the feeding program with which you can help. I can never forget when I lived in Oklahoma. My sons were all away and I felt "alone in a strange land." I prayed that the Lord would fill the void in my life with Himself. He did, and I never felt alone while I lived in that home. The Lord also brought many new friends into my life, some of whom I continue to hear from many years later. At Thanksgiving, Christmas and other times, my sons brought friends home to celebrate with us. One year a son brought a friend with his boy and a young man spending the year with them from Germany. Another son brought college friends from many states too far away to go home for the holidays. We had new friends join us from all over the country, and Germany that year. I often think of Hans, and pray He met the Savior who loves and died for him. He'd never experienced such love in the Family of God, and I hope to one day meet him in Heaven.
What kind of memories can you make for others in this time that you yourself feel alone? As the Scriptures say, "A generous man (or woman) will prosper; he (or she) who refreshes others will himself (or herself) be refreshed. (Prov. 11:25). Let someone else know His love and yours. In a previous Blog I recalled how the hose used to water others itself gets wet. You can never lose when you reach out to others. Look up! Encourage yourself in the Lord like David (1 Samuel 30:6). When the fog surrounds you and you can't see the way out, lie back in the arms of Jesus and trust Him. He wants your faith, your confidence. He wants you to cry out, "Jesus loves me! He is with me, and will not fail me. In fact, He's working it all out right now. I will not be cast down. I will not be defeated. God is on my side! I love Him and He loves me."
A Blessed "Thanks Living" to all. Jesus loves you and so do I! Dee
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